This Is Me Thursday--I Believe

• In ghosts, spirits, fairies, and other magical and supernatural creatures.

(Source)

• We are not alone in this Universe. We shouldn't be so cocky to think otherwise.

• In God. Whatever her name is.

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• Source
• In Karma. What goes around comes around. I've seen it happen.

(Source)

• Meditation.

(Source)

• Someday I will have a published novel.

(Source)

• In the power of positive thinking.

(Source)

Books, Books, Books

(Photo courtesy of http://www.hookedonhouses.net )

(Isn't this room amazing?)

I LOVE to read. I'll read anything and everything and frequently ask friends, family, and even customers for book recommendations. And once I find an author I enjoy, I want to read everything they've ever written.

The problem is, buying two or three books a week is expensive. Sure, I've borrowed books from friends and of course, from the library but sometimes, my branch didn't have the next book in a series and truthfully, I constantly forgot to return them on time.

Storing all those lovely books became another problem. Every so often, I'd go through my shelves and box up the books I would never read again only to store them for a future yard sale that I never managed to have. (Our library is extra-picky about which books they'll accept for donations.)

(Photo courtesy of Public Domain)

Back in 2004, way before the Kindle or Nook were invented, I came across a site called, Booksfree.com. NOW, the only books I purchase are reference books, books written by my writing friends, or hardcovers I can't live without.

Booksfree.com is like a Netflix to those of us who don't have an e-reader or for people who enjoy the feel of holding a book in our hands. With 250,000 paperback titles and 36,000 audiobook titles, there's a whole lot to choose from. They offer programs for renting paperbacks, MP-3, CD, audiobook, or a combination of those with rates as low as $14.49 a month. Booksfree even offers a swapping program.

Prepaid mailers are included with your book shipment and you can read as fast or as slow as you like without any penalties. Just send the books back when you're finished reading and they'll send you the next selections on your queue. If you fall in love with one of them, you can also keep it and purchase it through your account.

Booksfree also accepts donations of your old paperbacks. They pay $1.00 per book and put the money into an account used for purchases. Just think, you can make room for new books, share your books, make money, and save the environment at the same time!

So, if you're like me and love to read, why not check out their website and see if you're interested. If you decide to sign up, make sure you tell them I sent you. My e-mail address is deestan62@gmail.com.

This Is Me Thursday--I Know

It's Thursday again. Have you noticed that the older we get, the faster the days fly by? Well, lately, they drag while I'm at work which is a good thing. Otherwise, I wouldn't be able to do my blog posts. Well, here goes:

I Know:

• Someone who works for Tiffany & Co. He gets great discounts and he and his wife give great gifts. I wrote this blog post with my Tiffany & Co. silver pen. Yes, I'm bragging.
• My husband loves me even though I drive him crazy most of the time.
• I've made my share of mistakes, but I raised my daughter the best I could and she's turned out pretty well.
• The theme song for the original 1970's PBS children's show, 'Zoom.' I even remember their mailing address to send them letters. "Write, Zoom, Z double O M. Box 3-5-0. Boston Mass 0-2-1-3-4."
• I can count on my family.
• I've made a difference in some people's lives. Sometimes good and sometimes bad.
• I have an addictive personality. Smoking, eating good food, collecting crayons and buying office supplies are real weaknesses. I wonder if they have a Crayola support group?
• I can accomplish almost anything I put my mind to.
• Writing is hard work that takes a whole lot of determination. I like things that don't come easy but I wouldn't mind a few more acceptances every now and then...
• How to play a fife. It's like a small wooden flute that makes high-pitched sounds. It's been awhile since I've played so I'm not very good at it. My cat is glad I don't have time for it anymore.
• Someone who knows Lady Gaga.
• Finally, what I want to be when I grow up.

Self-Sabotage?

Some of you are aware my home is in the midst of repairs. After a series of unfortunate delays, the contractors began two weeks ago. While at work on Friday, I thought the contractors would surely be done (or close enough) for me to begin the painting, cleaning, and order-restoring process.

I walked into the house, after work, and was excited to see the backsplash freshly grouted. Yay! It looks gorgeous! (Photos to come)...Except for the broken tile, the missing tile, and the unfinished edge by the refrigerator. :( My cabinets and countertops are installed but the roll-out trays in the cabinets are still not done. The 1970's spindles in the wall opening between the dining room and kitchen,I requested to be removed,were still intact.

Needless to say, since there will be more spackle involved, there was no sense starting the cleaning and/or painting process. Hubby, John, did take matters into his own hands by removing the spindles, and I was able to spackle the holes but aside from those small tasks, nothing else got done in my house. Our living room couch and tables are surrounded by the microwave cart and small appliances. I spent the weekend watching Nip/Tuck Season 6 on my computer, frowning at the upheaval in my home.

This morning, I woke up from my Julian McMahon-induced haze and shamefully realized that while I had valid enough reasons for not getting my home back in order, I had absolutely no excuses for not completing assignment 4 of my ICL course. Nor, do I have an excuse for not writing or submitting any short stories. Heck, I didn't even read my e-mails this weekend!

So after getting my morning work done, I Googled, "Self-Sabotage" and found this website:

Top 7 Self-Sabotaging Behaviors

1. Do you find yourself always thinking and speaking about the things that aren't working?
2. Do you worry about the future and what might happen?
3. Do you forget about all your accomplishments?
4. Do you feel badly when comparing yourself to others?
5. Do you believe you aren't entitled to what you want?
6. Do you feel something is missing in your relationships or find fault with other people?
7. Do you feel you have no purpose?

Then, you may be sabotaging yourself! While not all of these behaviors pertain to myself, a good many of them are present and in varying degrees. So, what am I going to do?

1. Instead of dwelling on the things that aren't going right with my YA novel, I need to change my way of thinking and start asking myself, "What IS working?"

2. Instead of worrying about what I will do if I complete the novel and can't find an agent or publisher, I need to focus on the present. I can't control or predict the future. I need to let go and trust that the Universe will take care of it.

3. Instead of dwelling on my rejections and badly written pieces sitting in my drawer, I need to be proud of who I am and what I've done. Obsessing about the lack of accomplishments is preventing my future success. I need to notice my small successes and compliment myself more.

4. Instead of comparing myself to others I need to find the qualities I like best about myself and realize I AM good enough.

5. Instead of feeling I'm not worthy of accomplishing goals, I need to create stepping stones, shifting my limiting beliefs, to make my way over the bridge to goal-accomplishment.

6. Instead of staying in my bubble, I need to cultivate connections and interact more with other writers.

7. Instead of feeling as if I'll never achieve my writing goals, I need to clarify what is important and what I want to contribute to the world.

Admitting there's a problem is the first step toward a solution. After reading about these behaviors, I think I'm more aware of what's going on in my head, causing my failure to complete the novel. I hope this new awareness will help end my procrastination and bring me closer to my goal of completing the first draft.

So, tonight after dinner, I'll put that coat of primer on the walls and while it's drying, I think I'll lay down the foundation of the bridge to accomplishment and clear my living room table so I can work on my assignment. It's a small stepping stone, but it's a good one.

This Is Me Thursday--I Want

I Want:



• Peace and serenity. I don't do drama anymore and I won't tolerate it.
• Good health and well-being. I struggle with this one. I'd rather eat double-stuff Oreos than whole grains. I just can't help it.
• To be organized. I try, but I think I have too much stuff. (ie. crayons, craft supplies, and fairies.)
• Everyone in my life to be happy. Sometimes it doesn't work out that way. I need to realize sometimes I can't always fix things for them.
• An obscenely large chef's kitchen with state of the art appliances. I want every cooking gadget available, Gordon Ramsay cookware, a set of chef's knives and a large boisterous family around a massive farm table. Oh, and of course, a made to clean up when I'm done cooking. Is that too much?
• More time and energy to garden. Maybe I'll have my tulip garden and fresh vegetable garden when I retire...or maybe I'll just keep going to the local gardener. :\
• My children to be proud of themselves. I want them to know that we love them unconditionally and it doesn't matter what other people think.
• A house with a wrap-around porch, large enough to hold two rocking chairs, a porch swing, a dozen hanging flower baskets, and a table to hold pitchers of fresh-squeezed lemonade.
• My MTV! No, but really, do they even make music videos anymore?
• A dragonfly tattoo. I'm just too scared to do it.
• More hours in a night and longer weekends. Who do I call about that?

Never Forget

It's hard to believe it has been 10 years. I remember that day as if it happened yesterday.

Back in the 80s, I lived close to NYC and the WTC was the place to work. I worked for a few different corporations in those buildings. I remember when I worked in Building 2. The Accounts payable department of Moller Steamship was in a corner office, overlooking the Vista Hotel and the Hudson River. We would joke about what we would do if one of the small planes, that constantly flew around the area, had radar problems and crashed into our office.

In September 2001, I worked part-time in a deli and lived 60 miles from The Big Apple. We didn't have television at the deli but we had a radio. The music was interrupted by special reports of a plane crashing into Building 1 of the World Trade Center. I remembered how the accounts payable office had joked about that very thing and I felt horrible. When the second plane crashed into Building 2, we all knew this wasn't an accident. Customers came into the deli and relayed reports and images they had seen on television. When the Pentagon was attacked, we deli workers panicked and held our breath when the report of the plane flying over Pennsylvania came over the airwaves. Everyone debated whether or not the military would shoot down the plane.

When I left work, we tried to contact our family who lived and worked in the area. Phone lines were busy and we waited hours to hear from our loved ones who were thankfully, safe.

At the time, my daughter, Amanda, was 13 years old. Of course, the school had gathered all the children together and told them what had happened. I remember her bewildered face as our family watched television that night. Who knew that 6 years later, she would join the US Marines?

We were stunned. We were in shock. We were terrified. And we were furious. I remember thinking, "Who doesn't like the United States?" Boy, was I naive. Political bullshit, aside, the attacks on the World Trade Center hit me hard. I stared at the television for days and nights, crying my eyes out. I wanted to go to the site and help but realistically, I knew I shouldn't and couldn't.

I remember how quiet the skies became when they restricted flight and I also vividly remember how patriotic the nation became. Everyone flew the American flag. People were friendly, sympathetic, and compassionate. We all came together as a nation and every year we make sure that nobody EVER forgets what happened. 9/11 was a rude awakening and 3,497 people died.

We will "NEVER FORGET."